Labels: art, fine art, galleries
My name is Danielle Sload and I am a casting assistant for Ink Master, Spike TV's exciting tattoo reality competition series! We are currently casting for season 4 and would like to inform you and your staff that we will be holding an open casting call in Las Vegas! Essentially, we are in search of those who have artistic and creative tattoo skills with an outgoing, dynamic personality! In this exciting series, highly skilled tattoo artists from around the country will compete in a high stakes competition for the chance to win a $100,000 cash prize and the coveted title of Ink Master. I have attached a copy of our flyer that further details what we are looking for. Please feel free to post this on your website, send out to any list serve you may have or forward it on to anyone you think may be interested. Any help in spreading the word about our search would be greatly appreciated!" |
Dear Danielle, As much as I and my "staff" appreciate the touching form letter you sent, and as much as we are honored to be one of the 10,000 shops chosen to receive an invite to your casting call, we're going to have to turn it down. Though we surely do have artistic and creative tattoo skills, and also dynamic outgoing personalities, we would never, ever, ever in a million years whore out those skills for your bullshit TV series. Tattooing is an ancient sacred art and it would be an unforgivable sin to use it to sell Axe body spray or subscriptions to Maxim or whatever the fuck else keeps Spike TV on the air. Here's another thing: I already *have* the title of "Ink Master", at least as far as you and your dinky network are concerned. I started tattooing in 1994, almost ten years before you were even on the air. You're no more qualified to crown me "Ink Master" than a small child is qualified to decide who's president. So even if I won your rigged little personality contest, the title would be an embarrassment, not a boost. The kind of embarrassment that $100,000 would do little to assuage. So yeah, I'll spread the word about your search, but you're not going to like it. I'm sure you'll find a roster of desperate tattooers willing to sell out their craft for a chance at stardom, but you won't find it here. We *hate* television, and everything associated with it. In fact the rejection of television and the sick, empty, divisive cult of personality it embodies is the main reason we've had the time and space to become quality artists. We have dynamic personalities precisely because we spend 0% of our lives in slack-jawed passive consumption of shows like this. We are creative and artistic *despite* you, not because of you. Here's hoping that your show fails, your network goes off the air, and tattooing is finally free of the corrupting influence shows like this have brought. And in the future, unless you have a show called "America's Hardest Crappings", you'd do well to take me off your god damned mailing list. Kiss my ass forever, Bruce |
May 2005 June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 October 2005 November 2005 December 2005 February 2006 March 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 January 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 July 2007 August 2007 October 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 October 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 February 2010 March 2010 April 2010 May 2010 June 2010 July 2010 August 2010 September 2010 October 2010 November 2010 December 2010 January 2011 February 2011 March 2011 April 2011 May 2011 June 2011 July 2011 August 2011 September 2011 October 2011 November 2011 December 2011 January 2012 February 2012 March 2012 April 2012 May 2012 June 2012 July 2012 August 2012 September 2012 October 2012 November 2012 December 2012 January 2013 February 2013 March 2013 April 2013 May 2013 June 2013 July 2013 August 2013 September 2013 October 2013 November 2013 December 2013 January 2014 March 2014 April 2014 May 2014 June 2014 July 2014 August 2014 September 2014 October 2014 November 2014 January 2015 March 2015 April 2015 May 2015 January 2016 March 2016 October 2016 November 2016 December 2016 April 2017 August 2017 December 2017 January 2019
Subscribe to Posts [Atom]